I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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