Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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