There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
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I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
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Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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