erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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