Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
