Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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