Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
