a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
