I will die if light touches me.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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