I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
