I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
