wat bout pragnant strippers??
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
