Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize