yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
