i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
