You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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