I am puke
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
