the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
