so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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