i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
