I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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