why didn't you poke me back
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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