i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
