To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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