Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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