whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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