3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
