Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
