Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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