Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
