I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
