Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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