just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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