Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
