Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
