Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
