I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
