Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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