i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
