Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
