That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
