It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
