All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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