dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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