When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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