I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
