i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
