you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
me + whiskey = a bad person
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
