farters have to be the big spoon...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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