No awkward lesbian experiences without me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
