I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
