There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
