she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
