Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's blow job season.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
