So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
