My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
