this beer tastes like vomit already
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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