Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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