I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
