He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
