Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
