Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I have already put on my inside pants.
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