is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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