I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize