just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
