She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
are you so shy because you have an std?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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